You know who doesn’t care about cancer?

4 year olds.

On the one hand, it’s refreshing. Ben treats me the same as he did before.

Sometimes that’s great. He’s keeping a level of normalcy in our lives that is really helpful.

Other times he’s throwing a tantrum because HE wanted to take off his sweatshirt HIMSELF but I took it off for him and why can’t I put his sweatshirt back on so HE can take it off this time????!!!!

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Oh and the worst part? I can’t drink because of chemo. Somebody have a glass of wine for me please. 🍷😉

I’m blown away by everyone’s support. The amount of people who have reached out through this blog and Facebook is incredible. I’m feeling the love! It really helps to know I’ve got so many friends and family cheering me on and supporting us in so many different ways!

And although this is going to embarrass Eric (sorry honey lol), I have to say I have the most amazing husband. He has been so wonderful. He’s doing so much with the kids everyday with dropoff and pickup for daycare, dinner, bedtime routines etc. I try to help as much as I can but he’s doing so much of it now (I trained him well hahaha). He took care of Ellie last night when she puked and I was freaking out lysoling the whole house 😬🤣 Most of all he reminds me every day that we are going to get through this. 😍😍

Woke up feeling a lot better today! Woooooo. I’ll take it.

Might even attempt to do a few things around the house. (I said might. Don’t quote me on that 😂)

So I didn’t know what to expect with side effects for chemo. They gave me a list a mile long of possible side effects, but of course it’s different for each person. The doctor said, “No one gets all of these side effects… but no one gets none of them.” Ha.

Yesterday wasn’t so bad and I was thinking, is this too good to be true??

Yep. Definitely too good to be true. 🤢

A couple people asked me about the blanket I had yesterday. My friends had it made for me with tons of pictures of Eric, Ben, and Ellie and friends and family. It is so sweet and sooo soft. It was comforting, in so many ways. Thanks again ladies 😘

Feeling ok this morning! I was able to get some sleep last night. Mostly just tired today so I’m taking it easy. My face is a little red and itchy, and the dr said a face rash is a common side effect, so we’ll see what happens with that. He prescribed a cream just in case.

So relieved I tolerated the chemo well yesterday. I mean it was no picnic. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s doable. Next treatment is next Tuesday. Not excited for it but also not dreading it now that I know a little bit more what to expect. 👍🏻

Heading home after a very, very long day. Things were running behind schedule so I didn’t even start the chemo until 1:30. Finished around 7:30.

It was exhausting and uncomfortable and boring. But the good news is it wasn’t as bad as I imagined. I didn’t throw up or have any awful reactions. Could have been a lot worse.

Now I’m just very interested to see how I’ll feel in the next day or so.

It was AMAZING to get all the comments and emails and texts today. They really got me through! I have such wonderful family and friends. Feeling very loved. ❤️❤️❤️

And so it begins. Wearing a cold cap which supposedly helps limit hair loss.

So far so good!

This weekend I tried to explain to Ben a little bit about what’s going on with me. I don’t want to scare him but I also don’t want to lie to him. So I had a whole little speech prepared, and I bought a picture book about a mom who has cancer.

I read him the book and we talked a little bit about it. I told him I have something called cancer and that I’m going to be taking a medicine called chemo. Ben’s response – “That rhymes with Nemo!!” 🐟 😛

I finished up and asked him if he had any questions. He nodded. “Mommy, where are the new markers I got for Christmas?” 🤔

Good talk 😂

So I have breast cancer. There’s a sentence I never wanted to say. 😕

I’m starting this site so I can update everyone in one place.

If I’m being completely honest though, it’s as much for me as it is for all of you. Writing is therapeutic for me. Plus, knowing people are reading along reminds me that I’m not alone in this! ❤️

I’m not looking for sympathy or pity, though. I’m gonna beat this. 💪🏻 It’s all gonna be ok. It has to be!

I start chemo tomorrow at Dana Farber. It’ll be an all day thing. Eric is coming with me and my parents are staying with Ben and Ellie.

I’m not looking forward to the treatment, obviously. But it’s been such a whirlwind the past few weeks wondering and waiting, doctors appts, phone calls, ugh.. it’s almost a relief to get started with treatment. (We’ll see if I still feel that way when tomorrow is over 🤪).