Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! 🌸💗🌸💗

I had a really nice day with Eric, the kids, and my parents. Feeling very lucky today, despite chemo, despite the pandemic, to be able to spend a nice day with family.

Still don’t feel great but definitely a lot better than last week! 👍🏻

This might be my favorite pic of the day though. Ben and Ellie playing freeze dance with Gramma and Pop Pop 😆

All in all, a great day! 😊

Haven’t written anything this week. Not much to say other than 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

So nauseous. All the time.

I’ve been in bed most of the time. It’s hard to be near the kids because as it turns out, you know what makes nausea worse? Whining. Crying. Yelling. Kids running around. Nonstop talking about Hot Wheels cars. 😳

It’s been hard to text because looking at my phone too much also makes me nauseous. Sorry if anyone texted me this week and I never got back to you!

I finally feel a tiny bit better today. Not good, by any means, but a small improvement. I’ll take it. 👍🏻

Home after a long day at Dana Farber. All went well! Two down, two to go.

Now the fun begins. The past two weeks have been tough. Mostly the nausea and fatigue. The last few days I finally felt pretty good, relatively speaking, just in time for today’s treatment. 🤦🏼‍♀️

This time I’ll be a little more prepared, in terms of which meds to take when for different side effects. Hopefully that’ll help a little.

Definitely going to bed early tonight! 😊😴

Feeling good today! Not too much nausea, decent amount of energy, spent a good hour outside this morning. ☀️ Went for a little walk with Eric and the kids.

Had a picnic too! Ben made a hamburger with a potato chip, cheese, and 2 chocolate chip cookies on it. 😜🍔

The kids had fun riding bikes too.

Ellie did NOT want to get off the tricycle 😂

Great morning! Now time for a nap. 😊😴

It’s been one week since I started the new chemo treatments and wow, they weren’t kidding about this one. Definitely worse side effects compared to the last round. The nausea, fatigue, upset stomach, and body aches have been pretty constant until today. I finally was able to spend the whole morning out of bed with the fam today. 👏🏻Hoping to get outside this afternoon too.

Really hoping today is not a fluke and that I continue to feel better (or at least not worse) until the next treatment. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Haven’t been feeling well at all over the last 24 hours. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’ve been sleeping and resting a lot. The nausea is pretty constant.

But this morning I got SUCH a great surprise when a parade of friends pulled up with signs, balloons, food, flowers, and goodies. It was amazing!! Love you all so much!!!! ❤️❤️

Ok so I should have gotten a port weeks ago. What a difference. So nice not to worry about whether the nurse can find a good vein for the IV. I mean Paula is great. (Seriously Paula deserves a raise.) But it had been getting harder to find a good vein each week. The IV was always uncomfortable once it was in, too. And the chemo going into small veins in the hand or arm was NOT fun.

But I barely felt the chemo going in through the port today! 👏🏻

If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far from this whole cancer journey it’s that you have to appreciate the little victories as they come. Because this is a long, miserable process. But today I’m relieved because the port made things easier.

From what I understand this chemo may have tougher side effects than the last one (because the last one was such a breeze 🤪) So I’m not looking forward to the nausea and bone pain that is probably in my near future. But right now, I’m just happy this day went smoothly and the infusion of the two new chemo meds went fine! 🙂

Starting the new chemo on Thursday. Since it’s been getting harder and harder to find a good vein for an IV, this morning I went in to get a port implanted. It works in place of the IV for blood draws, chemo, etc. I was nervous to get it, but it’s done and it will make things a little easier moving forward.

Next up is chemo on Thursday afternoon. Treatment will be every other week for 8 weeks.

I’ve been emotional the past few days since finding out I’d need more chemo, even though I always knew it was a possibility. I guess I was a little too optimistic I wouldn’t need the second round. But now that we’re ready to start the next step, I feel a little better. I always feel better once I have a plan. 👍🏻

Well. Not the results I was hoping for.

The tumor has not shrunk nearly as much as we all hoped. It’s a little smaller and “less angry looking,” as my surgeon put it. Lol. So there’s that. But it’s not a significant enough response to go forward with surgery in May.

Anyway, we’re moving on to a different type of chemo. Every two weeks for eight weeks. (Then a month off. Then surgery. Then radiation.)

2020 just keeps getting better and better!

I’m disappointed. Obviously. Definitely cried on the way home. And I’m probably going to drown my sorrows in the chocolate that was supposed to go in Ben’s Easter basket 🤷🏼‍♀️😝

But the surgeon and the oncologist were both still optimistic that this is treatable and curable. 🤞🏻 🙏🏻

All I can do is just keep going with the treatment. I’m gonna beat this. 💪🏻